I might be crazy but how does 30 days of blogging tips and mom hacks sound? I have a ton of awesome content about how to become a blogger while also being a stay at home mom or a working mother. It’s not easy, but it’s totally possible. And, it’s time for Day 18 where I share what you need to know about mom guilt and why it doesn't necessarily mean it's time to throw in the towel.
This is a topic that I believe is really important to address in this 30-day series. As a mom when you are trying to grow a blogging business there's a good chance that you will experience mom guilt from time to time. Mom guilt is when you start to feel guilty about all the time you are spending on growing your business instead of doing other "mom" related things. You start to have different priorities and worry that it's negatively impacting your child in some way.
What happens when we start feeling guilty
I think that there is a bad stigma around mom guilt. You see, guilt feels bad so we think that if we are feeling this way we must be doing something wrong. But, we have to be realistic.
As you start to build your business to grow your income, it's going to cause you to make changes to your schedule. And, there are times when these changes will impact your children's schedule as well.
When this happens a lot of moms start to feel guilty. Their knee-jerk reaction is to shut down and revert to their old way of doing things. But, this isn't necessarily how it needs to be.
Mom guilt is a good thing! I look at it as our instincts kicking in and reminding us to make sure we are being really conscious about how we're spending our time. It makes us ask questions like:
Is what you're working on right now a good use of your time?
Are you doing a good job of balancing time with your children and the time spent on your blog?
Are you able to find time for yourself?
When mom guilt kicks in, it's a good sign. It doesn't come from a bad place but from a good place. It means that your love for your children is kicking in and making you feel that you need to be reflective to see if you are successfully balancing your time.
Where mom guilt comes from
As moms, we are constantly being pulled in 20 different directions. Our kids need us. Their schools need us to volunteer. Our house needs to be cleaned. Groceries need to be bought. Our spouses would like some attention. Our friendships require our time. And, we need time for ourselves as well. That's life! That's how it really rolls.
It's hard to balance all of these responsibilities and it's possible you might be feeling guilty for spending any time on things that aren't related to your role as "mom". But, it's not healthy to give 110% only to your children and not anything else.
Think about the talk they give you on an airplane. If the oxygen masks come down you are supposed to put your own mask on before helping your child. This sounds cruel and selfish, but in reality, if you pass out because of lack of oxygen you can't help your kiddos.
Real life is the same way. If you are constantly giving everything to your children and not taking time for yourself, you will burn out. You have to be strong to take care of your children. If you are experiencing mom guilt don't take it that you are definitely making a mistake. It doesn't mean you automatically need to shut everything else down and refocus on only your child. Instead, take a moment to see if you have things in balance or if there is an area where you could improve.
Finding the balance
As working moms, we have to constantly strive for balance in our lives. As your children grow and schedules change, you will need to make adjustments. When your kids become more independent, things will change. Finding balance isn't a one and done type of thing. Instead, it's constantly evolving.
Mom guilt is a time to be reflective and find balance. If you experience guilt first take some time to think about quality vs quantity. You might not need to cut back on your business hours. It might just be that you need to make sure you are really giving your kids quality time when you are with them.
Make sure that you are very present when you spend time with your kids. Have those one-on-one conversations with them. Give them the eye contact and attention that they crave so bad. Put your phone down.
Or, better yet, put your phone in the other room so you are tempted to check it real quick. This can be difficult especially because we tend to use our phones as our cameras, but your children would rather have your time than have every moment of their life documented.
But, it could be that your mom guilt is a sign that your business is taking over and getting in the way of time with your kids. This is why you need to take a minute to reflect on your situation when you feel that guilt. If you're struggling, ask for advice from someone else that you really admire, or better yet, a perspective buddy like we talked about on Day 14.
Remember, to make the most of the time you are spending with your kids. Give them time when they have your undivided attention. You may not want to play Candy Land for the umpteenth millionth time, but your child eats up that time with you. They appreciate the bonding and are less likely to have a hard time later when you have to turn your focus to your business tasks for a few hours.
I invite you to check out the Allison Lindstrom channel where you can stay up to date with more tips and tricks to help you grow your blogging business without sacrificing your personal life.